The damages

Christmas events carried on too long. My mom's an excellent baker. I wasn't weighing myself. Any more excuses? In any case, I gained more than I wanted to let myself gain.

I'm eating clean today and part of tomorrow. But isn't there always something? My dad goes in for an early morning surgery Friday. It's out of town, so my sister and I are going along to be with my mom--staying overnight Thurs.

Now, where can I eat out for 3 meals where I can avoid sugar, wheat and dairy? Those are the 3 things that pile the weight on me. I feel lousy, so I'm more than ready to eat better. I hate this delay, but I need to be there for my family--this is a serious surgery.

I'll do the best I can with food choices, and drink tons of water. I never thought I'd feel this way, but I can't wait to get back on Phase 2! Goal date remains Jan 24.

Merry Christmas!

As I said, holidays aren't good for me--food-wise--and no holiday lasts longer than Christmas. It started the day of my last post. A very busy day. For supper I ate some of the chicken noodle soup I'd intended for my husband. I simply didn't have time to cook anything and that wasn't a substantial meal. I went to a Christmas party that night. I was hungry and there was chocolate. Enough said.

It's the time of year when people give little plates of goodies, too. My will-power has to be strong to resist something that's in my own house. And I love Christmas-time, so I don't want to stress about it. Bottom line: I'm not letting things get out of hand, but I'm enjoying a few sweet treats. My weight's back up by a couple of pounds.

After Christmas, I'm back on the wagon. Which day, I can't say. Knowing my mom, she'll send some of the "extra" Christmas cookies home with me--for my husband, of course. Yeah, right. I've been eating dairy again, but I see it as a chance to say goodbye to dairy. My husband doesn't understand the need for a farewell for a food group. Can't I just quit? (Can you tell he's never had the slightest issue with food?)

When I'm back in a cheat-free zone, I'll start an informal detoxifying program to get ready for round 2. I don't want a repeat of the detox rash that plagued me my last phase 2. My plan includes a super green foods powder that detoxifies, dry skin brushing, and infrared saunas. I'm not going strict with my diet, but I'll be getting dairy and sugar out of my system.

I'll check in when I start that.

Meanwhile, have a Merry Christmas!

Doing good

overnight: -0.6
weight: 139.2

That's a loss of someone with a food sensitivity. It's got to be dairy, which makes me profoundly sad. I love ice cream and pudding, and those are things I can make sugar free. That's why I've been trying to deny to myself that it's dairy. Although a couple of weeks ago I made chocolate ice cream out of coconut milk that was pretty good.

I'd been eating eggs all along (except on HCG) without trouble. But I hadn't had pasteurized dairy for a few years--other than the occasional cheese or sour cream on a taco salad. A bit of butter. Nothing near a daily basis.

We used to get milk from a local farmer--raw milk. I had no trouble with that. And when the farmer gave up dairy cows, I quit drinking milk. Raw is so much healthier. But coming off of HCG I really craved fat in my diet, so I had lots of cream and cheese. And the itchiness started soon after.

Success

Best steak day ever!

overnight: -2.8
current weight 139.8

I drank 3 quarts of water yesterday and that's most likely why I lost so much. Such a rapid gain can only be water and this helped me lose it. Yes, I'm still 7 pounds above my LDW, but I'm making progress. All I care about right now is progress.

I took my measurements again today and most of them are smaller than they were last week. They still aren't what they were at my last dose, but the funny thing is that my fat% measured with calipers is lower than it was at my last dose. I went from 25.1% to 24.3%. That makes me feel better about being 7 pounds over.

Steak. It's what's for dinner.

I gained a little after the Christmas banquet. Then yesterday we went out for Chinese--loaded with MSG and sugar, I'm sure. Plus I only drank 1 quart of water yesterday. So my steak day will probably only make up for that gain. I'll eat carefully for the next two days, then do another steak day Thursday. I'll see after that.

My timing for starting the first round of HCG wasn't good. I didn't have anything going on during phase 2, which was nice. But Thanksgiving came one week into P3, and the birthday dinner and church banquet only a couple of days into P4. I ate many foods I wouldn't have introduced until much later. But like you guys keep saying, I'll be fine.

I won't start round 2 as early as I hoped. I thought I had family coming to visit toward the end of February, but they're coming somewhere around Jan 16 and staying (but not at my house) for nearly a week. My mother-in-law likes to wait until the whole family is together to celebrate Christmas, so one of our get-togethers will include a late Christmas. And I'll be with them for several meals during their stay, so I don't think I want to be on phase 2 at that time.

My in-laws are thrilled that I lost weight, but I didn't tell them about HCG and I don't plan to. So I don't want them to witness it firsthand. They already think I'm a little crazy. (Wheat bad? How can whole wheat be bad?) The best thing is to wait until the visit is over before I start again.

And this will give me more time to stabilize my weight and work on getting some muscle back. My new target date for starting is Jan 24, but it's too early to know if that date will work.

One event down...

My weight stayed exactly the same, and I'm not sure how that happened. I ate lots of new foods last night--wild rice, wheat flour and sugar. I could have turned down dessert, but I didn't want to. I expected to be up 2 pounds today, but no. Maybe I'm finally stabilizing.

Regardless, I'm going to be careful when I can. Starting Monday, I might follow Beb's example and alternate steak days to get my weight back down. We got our beef from the local farmer. Lots of good steaks included--sirloin, ribeye. Mmmm. I haven't had steak in so long. Doing a couple of genuine steak days won't be a hardship.

Not bad

overnight: -0.2

A small move, but still a move in the right direction. I'm almost back in the 130s again. I'd be happy to get down to 135 before I start the next round of HCG. I've got about 4 weeks to lose those 5 pounds. Then I'll aim for losing another 10 pounds during my short round because I think my ideal is about 125.

Looking at my numbers, I didn't gain nearly as much fat as I gained lean body mass. I did gain some fat, though, which I hope I can reverse.

I also hope my mother-in-law serves the right kind of food tonight. And I nearly forgot that tomorrow night is the Christmas banquet at church. It's frustrating trying to lose weight when I don't have control over the food I'm served. On the other hand, these two events will be fun, so I just need to relax and enjoy them without worrying about what I eat.

Heading the right way

overnight: -0.8

I successfully avoided eggs and dairy yesterday. I misspoke when I said I'd eat only meat, veggies and fruit. I snacked on raw almonds and coconut oil. I do want to avoid peanuts and peanut butter for a while. But I'm sure I don't have a problem with raw almonds--and the scale proved it.

That's the first time the scale has gone down without a steak day. I could do another steak day soon, just to try to jump the weight down further. But it wouldn't work out to do one until Monday, and I'm not sure how much good it would do at this point. It's worth a try, though.

I'll keep up what I did yesterday, and I'm confident the scale will continue to move in the right direction. Today is officially Day 1 of Phase 4, but that doesn't mean much to me at this point.

Last day of P3

I didn't mean to hide away like this. I started this blog for accountability, so not posting when things went wrong seems like cheating. But this time of year is so busy, and I've been so frustrated.

I'm afraid I've completely blown phase 3. I didn't cheat exactly, I just didn't figure out the problem. Steak days would get me down just over a pound, then I'd gain the weight back in two days. Or even one day. Didn't seem worth doing any more, so I quit the steak days. I gained much quicker than I lost on this protocol. Nearly a pound a day.

I think my P2 was too long for my sanity, since I had such a rough one. By the time I got to P3, I wasn't in any condition to do it properly. I couldn't make myself cut back to meat and veggies like I said I should. Mentally, I couldn't handle more restrictions. Cutting starch and sugar, no problem. But I needed my eggs and cheese and cream.

So, have I ruined my whole HCG protocol by doing such a poor job with P3? It seems like such a vital stage.

I'm allergic to something I'm eating. A new form of itchiness has beset me. No rash, but my face, neck and shoulders started itching a few days into P3. I'm sure that's the cause of most of my gain.

This morning was the wake-up call. I've gained exactly 10 pounds during P3, which takes me 8.4 above my LDW. I can't bring myself to post my weight, but you can figure it out. OUCH!! I gained half an inch on some measurements. One inch on a couple.

I think I'm over my food obsession. My birthday was last week, so one family get-together is over with. One to go. The in-laws are having us over for supper Friday night. Okay, so other than what I can't control Friday, no excuses. I'll eat meat, veggies and fruit. Only after my itchy symptoms go away will I re-introduce one food at a time to see what's doing this. Starch and sugar? I don't need it, and I won't have any until my weight is under control.

I like the new wardrobe I bought last week, and I want to keep it! I will NOT let this be a failure!

Call me crazy after the phase 2 I had, but this morning I ordered more HCG. I'm doing a round 2, but it will be a short round--23 dose days. Even if I lose what I gained in P3 I'll still have fat to lose. And if I blew phase 3, I need to make sure I have a good phase 3 and 4 to be sure my hypothalamus resets.

Now I wish I had ordered it sooner, but I was so sure I was done with HCG. If it arrives on time, I could start January 2. But I'll start as soon as it arrives, depending on my cycle.

Thanks, everyone, for how supportive you've been through this. I'll try to get back to posting every day, or most days anyway.

Holidays aren't good for me

I ate too much on Thanksgiving, surprise, surprise. I didn't intend to get so stuffed. In the middle of my piece of sugar-free, starch-free pumpkin pie, I realized I was way too full. But I finished the slice.

And here's the thing. I'm used to eating bread and potatoes and corn on Thanksgiving. Foods that I get full on, but burn through pretty quickly. Instead I made oopsie roll stuffing, mashed fo-tatoes (cauliflower), green bean casserole with all P3 friendly ingredients, and pumpkin pie made with xylitol and an almond flour crust.

Not only did I get stuffed sooner, but it stuck with me. I took an amount of food that wasn't excessive, spent the meal talking with family, and ended up more full than I have at Thanksgiving for several years. And I paid for it. Here's my numbers:

P3, Day 7 (Thanksgiving morning)
weight: 134.8
overnight change: +0.2 (despite careful eating Wednesday)

P3, Day 8
weight: 137.6
overnight change: +2.8

But my Thanksgiving wasn't over. I worked a long time making all those foods. There were leftovers to eat. Steak day? No way! So...

P3, Day 9
weight: 138
overnight change: +0.4

Kicking myself. Stupid, stupid. There's a reason steak days come the day of the gain. I know the rules. So I did a steak day the day after I should have. Okay results...

P3, Day 10
weight: 136.2
overnight change: -1.8

But still 3.4 pounds above LDW. I couldn't do two steak days in a row--I'd have been way too hungry. But I ate very cleanly. Eggs, meat, vegetables, fruit. Oh, and since I suspect dairy, I made ice cream out of coconut milk. I expected a loss this morning, or at least to stay the same. But here are my latest results.

P3, Day 11
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 136.8 (4.0 above)
overnight change: +0.6

I can't win. I don't know what to do. What food do I eliminate next? Eggs? Maybe the trouble was the coconut milk. I truly am going to be back to phase 2 foods soon. Only a wider array of meats and vegetables, and I'll be able to eat my fill of them. True, I hurt myself by not doing an immediate steak day, and it may take longer to come off. But another gain? Come on!

I'm almost ready to give up and chuck the whole thing. But I worked so hard through phase 2. I don't want to gain this weight back. I'll do another steak day soon, but I can't handle another one yet. I need to eat throughout the day. My two steak days haven't been bad, but they would be if they come too close together. I haven't had breakfast yet, but I'm very hungry.

Okay. No eggs today. But for supper I'm making a Thai curry with coconut milk. I've avoided dairy for so many meals, I'm out of non-milk things to make. Other than that, I'll eat only meat, vegetables and fruit. Mostly raw vegetables. I'll see what that does. Oh, and lots of water.

Holding tight

P3, Day 6
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 134.6 (1.8 above)
overnight change: 0

I managed to hold my own. I'd have preferred a loss, but I'll take staying the same. I had half an avocado with lunch yesterday. It was filling and satisfying--not to mention calorie dense. I'll get the hang of this yet.

I'm going to be very careful with what I eat today. I plan to make my meals and snacks only meat, vegetables, fruit and coconut oil. I don't want to gain an ounce overnight. I've been looking forward to Thanksgiving Day for so long, I wouldn't do a steak day even if I should. So I'll do my best today to make sure I don't need one.

Snack ideas?

P3, Day 5
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 134.6 (1.8 above)
overnight change: +.8

Whew, that was close. But today is finally the first day of my TOM. I know from past experience that this morning is the peak of my water retention, and I'll pee a whole lot today. So I'm not overly worried about being .4 from another steak day.

I didn't have any nuts yesterday, but I had a lot of cream. Mostly because I'm having trouble getting enough calories in. Yesterday I was still under 1800, and I should be between 1900 and 2100. It's not that I'm lacking an appetite--I'm quite hungry--it's that I don't know what to eat for snacks. I'm the type who needs to eat more frequently.

I'm avoiding nuts for now, and nuts or nut butters are usually what I have for snacks. An apple with peanut butter or almond butter in the afternoon, a handful of almonds in the evening. My imagination is lacking in this area. What can I snack on? Any ideas for me? For now, it's dairy. What if dairy really is a problem for me, too?

Not much wiggle room

P3, Day 4
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 133.8 (1.0 above)
overnight change: -1.4

I only have a 1 pound leeway today. And I can't seem to keep my word to myself. For breakfast I had 2 oopsie roll french toast. Topped with a dollop of whipped cream. All it is is eggs, cream cheese and whipped cream. It feels like cheating because I wasn't going to have dairy today.

The deprivation of P2 was harder on me than I thought. I got through it without cheating, but now I can't even stay away from dairy for a day to see what that does. It's like mentally I said, I can get through these 40-some days, but after that, I'd better be able to eat!

I do need to be sure to get plenty of calories today. I keep falling short.

I'm telling myself that each body is going to adapt in it's own way to this sort of thing. Thanks, Beb, for understanding that this feels like failure. And for reassuring me that it's not. I consider my P2 a success, so to have such rapid weight gain in P3 is devastating. But the steak day is the fail-safe device. I just hope my body adjusts and I won't have to do too many of them.

Steak day

P3, Day 3
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 135.2 (2.4 above)
overnight change: +1.6

A 4-pound gain in 3 days. I hope it's my TOM, because if my body is this sensitive to different food, I'm in for a rocky phase 3. I said no nuts or dairy yesterday. I didn't have nuts, but had a snack of cottage cheese. I had nothing else to snack on. I don't even know why I included dairy in my ban. I guess in the past staying away from cheese has helped me lose weight.

My "steak" is going to be roast beef. I have no steak in the house and it's too expensive from the grocery store--not to mention laden with hormones and antibiotics. We ordered a quarter of beef from a local farmer, but he hasn't butchered yet.

I'm praying this steak day works. After that, I might have a couple of days of P2-like eating. Sticking to the allowed foods, but plenty of calories, and including fat. I just need to get past this TOM and see how the normal me reacts to P3.

Now I'm scared of P3!

P3, Day 2
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 133.6 (+0.8)
overnight change: +1.2

Two days in a row of gaining more than a pound. If I gain the same tomorrow, I'll be right at 2 pounds above LDW. I'm eating very clean today--no dairy, no nuts--to see if that will help. I probably shouldn't have had either of those things in the first two days anyway. All I had yesterday in the way of nuts was a little bit of almond meal to coat my baked chicken.

I should have skipped it, since I suspected peanuts caused the first gain. But it was all prepared and ready to bake. I had no other meat thawed for supper.

But also, I've got PMS, so my TOM should be coming in a day or two. I was expecting it already, but I think HCG has thrown my cycle off a little. That could be what's causing the gain. *Sigh* I thought I was done analyzing a weight gain now that I'm done with P2.

About those pictures...

I took some after pictures that didn't turn out. I took them myself in front of the mirror, which is how I did my befores. They were either shaky (holding camera with one hand) or at a wrong angle. Then my batteries went dead, so I gave up. Now that I've gained and my TOM is pending, I'll wait a while before trying again.

But from what I could see in those pictures, I'm sorry to say I was disappointed with my results. I couldn't see much difference. I guess I'll let you be the judge when I post some in a week or so.

Calorie counting...ugh!

P3, Day 1
last dose weight: 132.8
current weight: 132.4 (-0.4)
overnight change: +1.2

I expected a gain, but not that much. Maybe I went a little overboard and reintroduced too many new foods at once. I know I didn't go over my calories.

That's right. Calories.

I was determined NOT to COUNT CALORIES. But I came to the reluctant conclusion that I have no idea how much I used to eat in a normal day. It was probably too little. While I don't buy into a simple "calorie in, calorie out" philosophy--it's more about the type of foods you eat and the way you exercise--the naturopathic doctors who run the Enlita weight loss program say that anything less than 2100 calories a day for the average woman is a starvation diet. The World Health Organization says that less than 2100 calories a day is starvation.

But since I hate counting calories, I didn't bother finding out what that much healthy food looks or feels like.

I also don't believe in one rule set in stone for everyone. Caloric needs could be greater or less for some people. So I found my BMR--Basal Metabolic Rate--here. That tells you how many calories a day you'd need if all you did is stay in bed all day. Then you can click the link for Daily Caloric Needs and adjust it to your activity level.

For light activity I need roughly 1900 calories a day to maintain my weight. For moderate activity, about 2100. (Bing, bing, bing. We have a winner.) I'll be starting out light until I get more energy back, then I'll be moving to my normal moderate to active (2300).

I'm so relieved the thing didn't tell me I need 1500 per day. I wouldn't have trusted that. I know it would set me up for failure long-term. It's part of the reason I had trouble losing weight. Too little food. And I'm only talking me personally. You may be different.

Coming off very low calories, there will probably be an adjustment time. I punched my food into a calorie calculator last night and came up with 1600. Close enough when my only activity was grocery shopping and cooking.

But searching for foods in the calculator reminded me why I hate counting calories. I made green bean casserole with supper. Lots of ingredients. And just how big of a serving did I have? So I had to use a very rough estimation. I'll only stick with counting the calories until I get the hang of estimating for myself.

And let it be soon!

I just had breakfast!

After the 48th (and last!) VLCD
overnight: -0.6
total: -23.8
weight: 131.2

I'm curious to see what will happen with my weight tomorrow after a day of eating full calories. With so little HCG in my system, I wonder if the last 2 day's weight loss has been all the right kind. In any case, with my body adjusting, I won't be surprised to see a gain tomorrow. I'm 1.6 below my last dose weight, anyway.

Final low calorie day

After VLCD 47
overnight: -0.6
total: -23.2
weight: 131.8

(I'll change the format above for phase 3 so that the emphasis is more on maintenance than loss. But I'll have just one more low calorie day result to post.)

I'm surprised at that loss. I suppose I shouldn't be, because I'm still under 500 calories a day. I'm one pound under my last dose weight. I'm definitely more hungry and weak this morning. That's the disadvantage to doing SL. A full three days of low calories without a dose of HCG. 72 hours after my last dose would be 8:30 tonight. Why eat that late?

Measurements

After VLCD 46
overnight: -0.2
total: -22.6
weight: 132.4

I took my measurements this morning. So the weight you see below is my current weight, not my last dose weight.

Area	Starting	Current	Lost
neck	13	12	1"
upper arm	11	10	1"
bust	41	38.5	2.5"
upper abs	33.25	29.25	4"
waist	35.75	31.25	4.5"
lower abs	41	37.5	3.5"
hips	40.25	37.25	3"
thigh	22.5	21	1.5"
calf	14	13	1"
TOTAL			22"
weight	155	132.4	22.6
body fat	32%	25%	7%

I'm so happy with those numbers. The body fat % especially came off so fast in the last 2 weeks.

I'll post my before and after pictures soon.

No more HCG

After VLCD 45
overnight: -0.2
total: -22.4
weight: 132.6

I was so happy after I took my last subligual dose last night. I got a little euphoric (the only euphoric feeling I ever experienced on HCG). It was one step closer to phase 3. Some HCGers are nervous about P3. I can understand how switching from something so strictly regimented to a phase with a lot more freedom could be a little scary.

But that's not how I feel at all. Phase 3 is where I want to be. Let me at it!

Want to hear something kind of pathetic? I have my suppers planned out for every single one of the 21 days. I've gathered so many new recipes, and have some old favorites I can't wait to get back to, that I filled the 3 weeks with no problem. Didn't even have to repeat a meal--not counting leftovers.

Breakfasts are simple. Usually a raw egg shake with coconut milk and cinnimon, or I'll cook eggs and sausage. Lunches I haven't planned, and maybe I should. In the past I've tended to not eat enough food at lunch, which makes me hungrier later. So I'll either have to save some of my supper leftovers for lunch the next day, or actually cook lunch for myself. Hey, I've been doing it all along on these low calorie days.

Last Dose Weight

After VLCD 44
overnight: -0.4
total: -22.2
weight: 132.8

It feels so good to finally say last dose weight. It'll be hard to switch my mentality to maintenance, not losing. But it feels nice. I didn't make my goal for the round, but I came so close I don't care.

Progress

After VLCD 43
overnight: -0.4
total: -21.8
weight: 133.2

I don't have much to say. Tomorrow will be my last dose weight. I'm hoping to see 132 point anything. I can't believe I'm this close to being done.

That's more like it!

After VLCD 42
overnight: -0.8
total: -21.4
weight: 133.6

I think I was a bit backed up, so when that resolved this morning, I was a little lighter. Okay, that's why I post anonymously--so that I can share TMI stuff like that. :o)

I'm having an anniversary of sorts today. I started this entire weight loss journey one year ago today. My starting weight was 182, and my goal back then was 132. Fifty pounds sounded like a nice even number. I've reassessed that goal a couple of times since then, but 132 still sounds pretty good. I haven't made it, but look how close I am, thanks to a turbo boost from HCG these last 42 days.

I'm so close to being done. My last dose is Sunday, which means I only have 2 more days to hope for big losses. After that, I'm supposed to hope for stability.

Inches, not pounds

After VLCD 41
overnight: -0.2
total: -20.6
weight: 134.4

I checked my waist measurement this morning just to be sure something is still happening. And my waist is smaller than it was 2 days ago. Still, as much as I tell myself it's the inches that matter, not the number on the scale, my weight this morning makes me say grrrrr. I guess it's human nature. I want my weight at a certain number.

But I committed no dietary errors, or errors of any kind yesterday. Drank enough water. That's all I can do.

Bummer!

After VLCD 40
overnight: +0.4
total: -20.4
weight: 134.6

I tried something new and it obviously wasn't the right thing to do. I was craving flavor and moisture, so I sauteed my celery in a little bit of coconut oil yesterday. Some people have used it and lost more weight from it. Others have gained. I took the chance that it would be good for me. Besides, I looked at the raw celery and just couldn't do it.

I've eaten my vegetables raw all along. I made three exceptions: Cabbage soup--gained a pound, onion soup, stayed the same, and now cooked celery, gained .4. Although I'll blame the oil rather than the celery.

Back to the basics. With only four days left to dose after today, every day needs to count.

Exercise

After VLCD 39
overnight: -0.6
total: -20.8
weight: 134.2

That's a nice loss. I consider that a bonus these days.

Beb's blog post yesterday reminded me that I miss exercise. Believe me, I never thought I'd say that. But in the past year, I've come to enjoy it. I just had to find a type that's fun for me. All I can do now is a gentle 20 minutes on my elliptical 2-3 days a week.

My old routine was 5-6 days of high intensity interval training--still only 20 minutes, but that's all you need--and 3 days a week of resistance training. So that's one more thing I'm looking forward to in phase 3--giving my heart, lungs, and muscles a good workout. After I've given my body time to adjust, that is. I don't think it would be wise to jump right in.

The final week

After VLCD 38
overnight: -0.4
total: -20.2
weight: 134.8

Experimenting with extra protein didn't help. It did nothing for my hunger or my weight loss. So now I'm back to 200 grams of meat per day.

Seven more days of HCG, including today. Plus 3 more very low calorie days. It's a good thing I'm almost done. I'm tired of the food. It started with the veggies. Just the look of spinach and celery turns my stomach. Now I'm also sick of the meat. The fruit is the only thing I look forward to.

My days have been balancing out. A day of bad hunger followed by a good day of getting hungry around mealtimes. Ten more days total. I'm hanging in. Still so worth it. Over 20 pounds lost in 38 days.

I'm melting, melting!

After VLCD 37
overnight: -0.4
total: -19.8
weight: 135.2

I can't believe it's been 37 days. It doesn't seem that long, looking back. But then again, it seems like it's my whole life. Know what I mean?

The inches are coming off. I posted on HCG Dieters yesterday that even though the scale only said a loss of .2, I measured my two biggest problem areas and each one was 1/4 inch smaller than just the day before. That's enough inspiration to keep me going.

That and my husband. He's good for my ego. He keeps telling me how tiny I've gotten and asking where the rest of me went. And his comments are made in such a tone of disbelief that I know they're sincere.

Almond flour

After VLCD 36
overnight: -0.2
total: -19.4
weight: 135.6

I'm starting to gear up for phase 3. No sugar, no starch. I'm gathering recipes and ordering things like xylitol and konjac flour (for thickening).

One of the things I enjoyed several years ago was almond flour. Combined with a little bit of thyme and basil, it makes an excellent coating for baked chicken. But I quit buying it when the prices of almonds soared. However, after an extensive web search, I found a low price.



Or here's a direct link to the almond flour. I bought a five pound bag to get a discount. I can't wait to start experimenting with recipes.

Addendum

I'll never understand how this protocol affects me. Yesterday I was so hungry and weak I wanted to quit. In the afternoon I did some dishes that had built up for several days--the dishes that won't go in the dishwasher. I was completely wiped after that. I just laid in the couch.

Today, I was barely hungry. I had to remind myself to each lunch and supper. I ate both meals over an hour late because I didn't think about food. As long as I have days like today for balance, I can hold on until Nov. 20--my first day of phase 3.

:o)

After VLCD 35
overnight: -0.4
total: -19.2
weight: 135.8

I made it to the next milestone!

I was only going to take my measurements once a week. But I needed inspiration to keep going. Despite getting below 136, yesterday was a hard enough day that I struggled with, is this worth it? What the tape measure said will keep me going. I don't have long left.

Close

After VLCD 34
overnight: -0.6
total: -18.8
weight: 136.2

I'm getting closer to setting that low weight!

Protein

After VLCD 33
overnight: -0.2
total: -18.2
weight: 136.8

Not a great loss, but a loss.

I think I'm going to up my protein a bit. Not because of a slow loss, but because my hunger appears to be back to stay. I have a feeling I should just quit now and give my body a break, then come back for round 2 in January.

But I'm so close to an all-time low in my weight, and I'm close to the end of my HCG. Eleven or twelve days. I'm not quite sure if I'll run out the 15th or 16th, since I ran short last time. Therefore, I'd prefer to try increasing my protein to see if that helps, rather than stop now. I want to squeeze out as much loss as I can in this round.

What is ideal?

After VLCD 32
overnight: -0.4
total: -18
weight: 137

This post will be long. I need to work through some thoughts. I took my measurements this morning. I lost more inches this week than last week, so I'm happy about that. I'll post my measurements after I'm done with HCG. Along with before and after pictures.

On HCG Dieters, I see posts once in a while that say something like, "My goal was 125, but I weigh 140 right now. I've lost so much fat that if I lost any more, I'd look emaciated. So I'm stopping."

It's the opposite with me. I'm starting to think my ideal weight is 125 or a little less because of the amount of fat I have left. I found a website that claims to calculate the most accurate ideal weight. I have a small frame and it says 121.5 is ideal. The medium frame is 135. So I consider that a range. Between 122 and 134 is where I'd fit.

Yesterday I contrasted the difference between ages 17 and 34. I have no idea what my measurements were then, but I did save one pair of jeans from my high school days--they don't fit yet.

However, I do have measurements from my weight loss in 2001. There's even a significant difference between 28 and 34 (almost 35). Everything but my hips measures more now than it did then at the same weight. (Stupid over-30 metabolism!)

Now, I'm not finished, and good fat loss can still happen in the 12 days I have left. But I have to ask myself if my HCG is working the way it's meant to. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with what I've achieved. It just isn't quite meeting my expectations.

I keep thinking about the actresses mentioned in Pounds and Inches who initially wanted to get below their healthy weight limits. But they were so thrilled with the fat loss that they were happy at a healthy weight. Now these were movie actresses, and even in the 50s and 60s, Hollywood ideals were high when it came to thin.

So for once I thought I wouldn't have to settle for, "Well, I guess this is all the weight I can lose. I still have a poochy belly and something akin to a fat roll in back below my bra, but I guess it'll have to be good enough." I don't want good enough. I want my ideal body fat.

According to my Accumeasure fat calipers, I started out at 32.1% and I'm currently at about 28.2%. Not a bad loss in such a short time. But to be healthy, I should be at 22% or below. I'd like to get to 19%.

Maybe my expectations for a single round were too high. The HCG could be working exactly as it's meant to, but I have more fat than I can lose in one 45-day round. I'd hate to have to do another round. Of course my next round could be quite a bit shorter.

And there's also the reshaping that continues in phase 3. I guess I'll decide then if I want to do another round. If I have the opportunity to lose all my abnormal fat, why would I pass that up? If need be, I'd wait until after the new year for Round 2.

Moving on down

After VLCD 31
overnight: -0.8
total: -17.6
weight: 137.4

I'm so happy. I didn't think I'd see a .8 loss again. I was accepting of my .4 losses. Because even though I can't guarantee even that much of a loss each and every day, if that trend did continue, I'd end up at 132.6. Sounds pretty good to me. (Yes, whenever I see a pattern forming, I have to project ahead and see where that would take me. I don't think there's a cure for this sickness.)

My next milestone will be getting below 136. That's the least I've weighed as an adult. I started putting on a little extra weight when I was 14 or 15. Not much, just enough to never quite be thin. As a junior in high school, I weighed 140. Of course the consequence of being 34 versus 17 is that I'm fatter now even though I weigh less.

I put on more weight in my 20s, especially after I got married. Then I lost weight in 2001 and reached a low of 136. But like I said before, I never lost the excess tummy and back fat.

So here's to getting below 136, and becoming more trim than I was in high school. :o)

30 days down

After VLCD 30
overnight: -0.4
total: -16.8
weight: 138.2

I have about two weeks of HCG left. My hunger is still more than I'd like. I hope that changes soon with my lower dose. But I'm done playing around with the dose. Whatever happens, I'll just power through the next two weeks, plus three days of low calories without HCG.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't blog. My experience hasn't exactly been the typical, "Wow, I feel great on HCG." I've probably had a hard time because I was so toxic. I had no idea that I was.

I'm tired. I've been sleeping close to 11 hours most nights. I don't have energy to do much but the basics--feed myself and do laundry. Plus I do gentle exercise a few days a week. I'm getting far behind on my dishes and cleaning. My detox rash has flared up again. And instead of feeling as if I've just eaten a large meal, I'm hungry most of the time.

But the thing is, whatever I'm facing, it's worth it. I'm getting rid of this fat so quickly. Even at my current level of .4 per day, that's twice as much lost as my best week with dieting alone. Parts of me are looking "normal weight," even though I still have lot of fat in the tummy area. Fortunately, my clothes hide it for the most part. People are noticing I've lost a lot of weight.

And this loss will be permanent, as long as I don't start eating junk food on a regular basis or something dumb like that. So it hasn't been easy, but it'll be over before I know it.

Dosing mystery solved

After VLCD 29
overnight: -0.4
total: -16.4
weight: 138.6

A couple of people answered my question about why I was short on HCG. I misunderstood the answer at first, but then I thought about it for a full 5 seconds after I answered the post. The little part on the syringe that the needle is supposed to attach to holds a few extra drops. So when I thought I was measuring exactly .5 ml, I was getting a few drops more each time. Also, perfectionist that I am, I pulled the plunger back a little extra to compensate for the air bubble that always gets in there.

I was right about one thing. With 28 doses, I was getting 178.6 IU each dose. Now I'll make sure the plunger stops at .5 and not beyond. Plus I added a little more liquid, so my dose will be closer to 150 IU. With my hunger coming back, I needed to do some adjusting anyway.

Short a day's dose

After VLCD 28
overnight: -0.4
total: -16
weight: 139

Consistent. I can't complain too much--I'm still losing. But I may have another explanation.

I posted this question to the HCG Dieter's board a while ago, so you may have seen it already. I'm short on HCG by more than a day's doses. 1.3 ml short. Where did they go? I can see losing a drop here and there in the process of administering my sub-lingual dose twice a day. But adding up to 1.3 ml? Not likely.

The only explanation I can come up with is that it evaporated. And I don't half believe that, either. But I know I was painstakingly cautious when I measured for my mixture, and when I measured my doses. I use an open amber bottle, not a sealed one. I used 3 ml vodka as a preservative in my solution. Could that cause so much evaporation? I'm shaking my head. It doesn't seem possible. I hope someone on HCG Dieters has an answer for me.

But say it has been slowly evaporating. That might explain both my slow down in weight and inch loss, and my return of hunger 3 days ago. Because with less liquid, my dose has been getting stronger each day. Overall, with 28 doses instead of 30, my average dose has been close to 180 IU. And if it started out as it should have--166--there's no telling how strong my last several doses have been.

It's been one thing after another with me, hasn't it? Surprisingly, I'm upbeat about this. I just want to know how to prevent it from happening again.

Creeping, creeping down

After VLCD 27
overnight: -0.4
total: -15.6
weight: 139.4

I trust my body. I trust my body.

New perspective

After VLCD 26
overnight: -0.4
total: -15.2
weight: 139.8

WooHoo! Made it into the 130s!

As I was thinking this over last night, an idea occurred to me that gave me a new perspective. So my positive attitude came before this morning's journey into the 130s. I've been releasing a lot of toxins--thus the detox rash I've had almost from the beginning, which has gotten better in the past few days. I'll bet I'm slowing down because my body can't handle any more toxic load.

And my hunger was much worse yesterday, so it seems evident that I wasn't burning as much fat. This morning my measurements were better than yesterday, but not the losses I've seen in the last two weeks.

So I have to trust my body. After all, I'm doing everything right. I haven't cheated once, or even come close. All I can do is try to help my body get rid of more toxins (saunas, salt baths, water intake) so that it can handle letting more into my system when the fat burns.

By the way, I drank 96 ounces of water yesterday. That's 3 quarts. Plus a 12 oz mug of green tea. I didn't intend to drink that much more water. But I was simply obeying my thirst. And this morning I woke up parched. Tongue almost sticking to the roof of my mouth. Strange. Today I'll continue listening to my thirst, as I have been all along. There must be a reason it needs more water now.

Trust my body. Listen to my body.

And on I go.

One day at a time

After VLCD 25
overnight: -0.2
total: -14.8
weight: 140.2

I went to my niece's choir concert last night--no drinks allowed in the theater. I had to leave home shortly after 6:30 and by the time I got back, it was close to my bedtime and I didn't think of drinking water. In any case, it would have been a little late to guzzle the 16 ounces of water I was short for the day.

I woke up this morning obviously retaining water. Serious pillow face. Red grooves on my arms and stomach. I still drank 64 ounces of water yesterday--a pretty good amount. It's just that I normally drink 80 ounces. That satisfies my thirst. Plus, 6:30 was too early for me to quit drinking water. I usually keep sipping until about 8:30. So that's my explanation for only .2.

It's starting to feel like crunch time. Sure, I only have about 10 pounds to lose, but I'll run out of HCG on Nov. 16. (Even if I had more, I'd want to be done around that time. I need to be on P3 for Thanksgiving.) 20 days from now. Half a pound a day--that's doable. But at my current streak of zero and .2, it's starting to look like an unattainable goal. I'm trying to stay positive.

What I really need to lose is the inches. I don't care so much what the scale ends up reading, but my body fat % is still much too high. I measure once a week, and today was the day. I lost tiny amounts on arms, thighs, hips, but nothing in my midsection, where it really needs to come off. But I'm bloated today, so I'm going to drink lots of water and measure again tomorrow.

People on this diet are always reassured that when the weight loss slows down, the inch loss speeds up. I hope that's the case for me and my water retention is simply disguising it. One day at a time. My new mantra.

Whew!

After VLCD 24
overnight: -0.6
total: -14.6
weight: 140.4

A loss of .6 never looked so good. I truly do need to see losses to keep going on this thing. If my weight had still been 141, I would have been begging you guys for some encouragement not to quit. But now, with a loss I can go on. I'm so close to the 130s. Another .6 tomorrow and I'm there. One day at a time. That's all I can look at. Just make it through today's limited food.

Still there

After VLCD 23
overnight: 0
total: -14
weight: 141

Maybe it wasn't the onions after all. (Although, how will I dare try them again?) Maybe I'm just heading into a stall. Yikes! I hope it doesn't last too long.

A PS to the post below

I did do something different with my diet yesterday. I made onion soup and put my meat in that. And I had that for two meals. So maybe onions make me stall. Cabbage soup makes me gain. Onion soup makes me stall. *Sigh* Looks like I'm doomed to be soup-less through this protocol.

What really has me discouraged right now is that my body doesn't seem to make up for gains and stalls. When I gained before, I went on losing as normal. I didn't have a big loss to make up for it. So I'm afraid this truly was just a wasted day.

No loss

After VLCD 22
overnight: 0
total: -14
weight: 141

I'm so close to the 130s, which is where I really want to be. So a day without a loss is really frustrating. From the beginning I didn't except to lose every single day. I think if I made it into the 130s, I could be more patient with small losses or no loss. Hopefully things will improve when my TOM is over.

Enlita

After VLCD 21
overnight: -0.6
total: -14
weight: 141

I want to tell you about the program on which I lost those first 27 pounds, because I owe them a lot. It's Enlita.com. Dr. Kendra Pearsall, a naturopath, founded the site. If you know who Dr. Mercola is, you might know that she used to be in practice with him, and co-authored, I think, 3 books with him. I've subscribed to Dr. Mercola for years, so I immediately trusted Dr. Pearsall.

The weight loss program is based on good nutrition--eating whole foods and avoiding processed foods. But there's a lot more to it. It covers food allergies that might be keeping the weight on, hormones, emotions, and other factors. It's really a holistic approach.

This isn't a commercial. I'm not trying to get anyone to join. I'm simply expressing my gratitude.

Dr. Pearsall is the one who made me aware of HCG, through her newsletter. She held an informational teleseminar that explained the science of HCG. I was hooked. And here I am.

I had to drop my membership, but I learned so much. As you know, I averaged a pound of weight loss per week for 5 months. The prinicples I learned on Enlita will be with me for life, and I'm so grateful.

Detox rash

After VLCD 20
overnight: -0.4
total: -13.4
weight: 141.6

A loss of .4 two days in a row makes me realize I'm going to be terribly disappointed if I hit a stall. No matter how I try to prepare myself mentally, I like to see bigger losses. It's not easy to be so limited in foods.

Also, I've had a detox rash all over my torso since VLCD 4. It'll just start to dry up and go away, then fresh red spots come back. I love that it means I'm releasing fat, but it itches! It bothers me especially at night when I'm trying to sleep. So all in all, I want this protocol over as soon as possible. And that means bigger losses. Please!

I've tried applying bentonite clay to the rash, on two occasions. I took an epsom salt bath. I take an infrared sauna about 5 days a week. Nothing has helped clear up the rash. Man, I should have done a full detox before starting.

Any ideas for me?

Halfway there!

After VLCD 19
overnight: -0.4
total: -13.0
weight: 142

I met a milestone and I didn't even notice. As of yesterday, I'm halfway to my goal weight. Starting HCG, I wanted to lose 25 pounds. Yesterday's weight put me at 12.6 pounds lost and only 12.4 to go. (12 today.) Hurray!

I'm not sure how accurate 130 is for my ideal weight. I only know that when I lost weight back in 2001, I got down to 136 and still had quite a bit of flab. That's the least I've weighed as an adult. Now, on HCG I might lose more fat than before and look just fine at 136. Then again, I might lose so much fat it'll put me lower than 130. I have a small frame, so it's possible.

Bottom line is, I'll know it when I see it. And that's the great thing about HCG--it's self limiting. When I have no more abnormal fat to lose, the hunger will come back. I hope that happens before I run out of HCG, so I'll know for sure my abnormal fat is gone.

And that's another reason I hope my remaining hunger continues to diminish day by day. Then I'll know for sure when it comes back full force. Anyway, I'm so excited to be only 12 pounds from my goal weight.

TOM

After VLCD 18
overnight: -0.8
total: -12.6
weight: 142.4

My TOM started in earnest yesterday afternoon. (Another reason for only a .2 loss.) My original plan was always to stop dosing for the first 3 days of my period. But since my upped dose is so new, and I didn't dose on Sunday (cuz I thought my TOM had already started), I'm going to dose right through.

Even though the HCG isn't as effective during a period, keeping this hunger under control is my priority. I have enough HCG that even if I have to use it all up it'll be a total of 46-47 days of dosing. I might not need it all anyway.

The new dose is doing the trick. I've had hunger around mealtimes, and a bit at bedtime, but that's all. Sunday, when I didn't take HCG, the constant hunger came back. So, even though I'd like to follow the original protocol more closely, this is what I need to do for me.

Dreams

After VLCD 17
overnight: -0.2
total: -11.8
weight: 143.2

I'm disappointed, but under the circumstances--my period (sort of) and no doses yesterday--I suppose it's understandable. I'm back to dosing today, and I'll see what happens with my period.

Dreams. It seems like every night I dream of food. Most of the time in my dream I've forgotten I'm on phase 2. So halfway through a big plate of forbidden food, I remember. Then I feel awful for having cheated. I've always had vivid dreams, so the remorse is very real. I wake up so relieved that my diet is still clean.

Other nights, I'm not on HCG in my dreams, so I can enjoy all kinds of food guilt-free. Since my dreams are so realistic, it's actually not a bad way to sample delicious foods. But it's strange that the dreams come almost every night. It's like I'm obsessed with food.

Naw, that couldn't be!

Unusual

Late post, but I found time to squeeze it in.

After VLCD 16
overnight: -0.6
total: -11.6
weight: 143.4

The .8, .6 pattern is broken by two .6 in a row. But I'm pleased with any loss during my TOM. At least I think it's my TOM. It seemed to start a few times in the last two days, but then goes back to spotting right away. I didn't take my HCG today, but if I'm like this tomorrow, there's no reason not to dose.

Consistent

After VLCD 15
overnight: -0.6
total: -11
weight: 144

In the future, it would be nice to see another whole pound loss in one day. But there's definitely something to be said for consistency and predictability. Today my TOM came, right on schedule, and I still lost my .6 right on schedule. On this protocol, the losses can change quickly, but I'll enjoy this while it lasts.

It's too early to say whether or not the 166 IU dose will do the trick. But I think I feel an improvement, both in hunger and in a general sense of well-being.

The mind

After VLCD 14
overnight: -0.8
total: -10.4
weight: 144.6

Just over 10 pounds gone so far. Yippee!!

I haven't been talking about it. I was so optimistic Sunday evening when my hunger went away for several hours. But I was hungry by Monday morning, and I've been hungry ever since. I passed the 10 days that Dr. Simeons says is needed to make up for improper loading. So it can only be my dose.

I had to mix a new batch last night, so today I'm trying a 166 IU dose. That's what works for most SL users, twice a day. I'll keep you updated on how that goes.

If this hunger doesn't go away, I'll do a 23 dose round and take a break. The hunger isn't as intense as it was in the first week. It's no longer the painful, drive me crazy hunger. But it's enough to make me realize I can't do this for much longer. Sheer willpower is keeping me going--keeping me from cheating.

On another note, how big of a role does the mind play in weight loss? At some point I charted out my weight and found that an average of .7 per day would get me to my goal weight in 40 days. Since my scale doesn't register .1 increments, I thought, "Well, I'll just have to lose .8 and .6 every other day." Look at my pattern since Monday. .8, .6, .8, .6.

Weird, huh?

Simple report

After VLCD 13
overnight: -0.6
total: -9.6
weight: 145.4

Food rotation

After VLCD 12
overnight: -0.8
total: -9.0
weight: 146

I don't have anything else to say in today's post, so I'll mention what I'm doing that's probably different from most people. I'm incorporating a rotation diet.

I've tried a rotation diet in the past, but it was much too restrictive and I couldn't stick with it. But the HCG protocol is restrictive anyway and rotating my foods gives me more variety than I might otherwise give myself.

I do a 4-day rotation. I have one type of meat each of the 4 days, and generally one type of vegetable per day. Although sometimes there's more than one vegetable listed in a particular food grouping, so I may have a different vegetable for supper. I have only 1 type of fruit on days I have fruit. The foods are listed according to taxonomy. Which I don't understand, but it has something to do with the foods being similar.

I'm rotating foods for more weight loss (and by that, I mean additional weight loss on top of the HCG protocol--because I don't think that's possible), I'm doing it because it's a good way to avoid developing food allergies and sensitivities . It's also good for detoxifying the digestive system because your body is only exposed to a particular food source once every four days.

I know, everyone on HCG says to mix up the proteins--don't have the same meat for lunch and supper. But a lot of them probably have chicken for lunch and beef for supper every single day. So they're eating the same food day after day. Maybe I'm wrong about that. But anyway, I think what I'm doing is mixing up the proteins, as well as everything else.

Good average

After VLCD 11
overnight: -0.6
total: 8.2
weight: 146.8

Steady as she goes. Pre-load weight and 11 days of dieting makes my average loss .75 per day. Very pleased with that.

Hunger gone!

After VLCD 10
overnight: -0.8
total: -7.6
weight: 147.4

I was hoping to lose more to make up for the gain, but I don't really care all that much. My losses up through Saturday were more than I was expecting, so I'll take it as it comes. Besides, the weight pales in comparison to the fact that my hunger went away yesterday!

The morning and afternoon were normal hunger levels. I went to an anniversary party where I got to watch people eat for 3 hours. I was hungry the whole time. Just sipped my water. I kept thinking of the portion of roast I could reheat as soon as I got home. Then when I did get home, I stopped in my tracks on the way to the fridge. I wasn't hungry, I was only empty.

When did that happen?

I waited a while before warming my roast, just to be sure the feeling was sticking. I ate my supper and I was satisfied. Three hours after supper, I still wasn't hungry. Day 10 was the magic number for me, after all. The hunger is gone!

(By the way, I only did 5 doses of 150 IU--2.5 days. I thought if my dose was the problem that amount of time should have fixed it. I've been back to 125 IU since then.)

Arrrgh! Was it the salt or the fruit?

After VLCD 9
overnight: +0.8
total: -6.8
weight: 148.2

I honestly didn't think I'd have any gains on this protocol. At least apart from my TOM--which is due in about 6 days. I couldn't believe my eyes when I stepped on the scale this morning. I weighed 3 times just to be sure.

My 2 biggest suspects are salt and fruit. I made cabbage soup with chicken yesterday. Cabbage is so bland that it sucks in flavor like a black hole--they're never heard from again. So the soup took a lot of salt. I haven't been eating salt to that extent, so maybe it's water retention. I hope it's water retention. It's quickest to get rid of.

Or it could be the fruit. If you've ever heard of nutritional typing, or metabolic typing, I'm a protein type. (The basic principle is that some people do better on more protein and fat, and others do better on more carbs.) As a protein type, I should take it easy on fruit. And that was my intention all along. Being I'm allowed so little protein, I planned to avoid fruit altogether.

Then whammo! this hunger hits me from the start, and I'm eating everything I'm allowed. Well, not everything. I've generally only had one serving of fruit, not the 2 I could have. I had two days of less hunger, and I ate no fruit on those days. But yesterday I was hungry, so I got my strawberries out of the freezer and made strawberry puree. 1/2 cup strawberries, a little water, stevia to taste--comes out almost like sorbet.

And it was so good, I had to have it again after supper. Two servings of fruit, which I knew was a little too sweet for my system when I'm taking in so little else.

But look at the other culprits I came up with when I reviewed my day:

• 64 oz water, when I've been drinking more than that
• I forgot to put my rubber gloves on when I washed out my crockpot, and my dishsoap contains oil
• no BM for 2 days--I've had one every day previous to this
• PMS? even though I normally don't gain until the day before, or first day of TOM

However, judging by how thirsty I am this morning, I'm sticking with the more salt/less water equation as my top suspect.

Long post! But I feel better for my detective work, and getting the frustration out of my system. Excuse me while I go guzzle some water, to get the excess water out of my system, too.

Drinking lots of water

After VLCD 8
overnight: -0.6
total: -7.6
weight: 147.4

Counting down the days. I'm trusting that after 10 days of low calories, I won't be so hungry anymore. Sorry to keep posting about my hunger, but it's hard to think about anything else. At any rate, two more days to go.

An interesting side note: my water consumption keeps going up slightly each day. I'm not trying to drink more water, but my thirst levels keep going up. I must have been dehydrated for a long time before this. Also I'm eating so much less food that I'm not getting the water content from food that I used to.

The first few days I drank 64 ounces per day. Then it was 72, 76, and now 80. My mouth feels dry most of the time. Oh, well. I'll listen to my thirst signals and give my body what it needs.

One week

After VLCD 7
overnight: -0.8
total: -7.0
weight: 148

I almost forgot to check in today. Probably because I don't have much to say. Nothing new to report.

More improvement

After VLCD 6
overnight: -1.2
total: -6.2
weight: 148.8

I'm doing the Snoopy dance to be in the 140s again. Those 27 pounds I lost? Well, for 27 weeks, I lost an average of 1 pound a week. I had my ups and downs, but always came back to that average. Then about May, I got off track and couldn't get back on. From May-September my weight bounced back and forth between 154 and 159. After losing pretty much steadily for 5 months, I was stuck in the 150s for 5 months.

So that's why it means so much for me to FINALLY be in the 140s.

Now for the improvement I mentioned. I still have hunger, but it's much less intense. It's "Yeah, I'm hungry." Not, "Must eat or PERISH!!" I went back to two meals yesterday and each one was almost satisfying. I see some rays of hope.

Slight improvement in hunger

After VLCD 5
overnight: -1.4
total: -5.0
weight: 150

So very, very happy with my release overnight. I know this will slow down soon, but the rapid loss in the beginning is so heartening. I can keep going because of big losses like this.

Yesterday's hunger level was slightly better than Sunday and Monday. I have no idea if increasing the dose was the right thing to do or not. I'm starting to think that I didn't load enough. As unbelievable as that seems to me. But there were times I could have stuffed more in. Wish I could go back and redo it. Beginners, learn from this. Eat as much as you can possibly hold.

One mistake I made was I forgot about coconut oil until the last day. That would have been a good fat without bulk. On the third day I did make "chocolate bark" out of coconut oil and ate 4 Tbsp that way.

So anyway, just hanging on. Since it's likely my load days that caused this, I might ease back on my HCG dose once this hunger is more under control. I don't know. Too many variables.

Time for a change

After VLCD 4
overnight: -1.0
total: -3.6
weight: 151.4

Yesterday I tried spreading my meals out further. Eating the same amount, but 4 meals instead of 2. It didn't really help. Momentarily it did because while I'm actually eating the hunger is tolerable. But I was extrememly weak all day, and every time I stood up, I got lightheaded. Felt like I was going to pass out a couple of times.

I figure there are two possibilities: 1) My HCG wasn't potent, or 2) My dose isn't high enough. So this morning I took a 150 IU dose, then went and bought a pregnancy test. I figure I may as well take a higher dose because if my HCG is useless, it doesn't hurt to take more of it. On the other hand, if my HCG was good, I'd want to increase the dose anyway. The preg test was positive, which is good. It means I don't have to throw that batch away and waste over 12 ml of my mixture. Even at my new dose, I've got 10 day's worth left.

I know I said I'd wait a week and see, but my level of starvation left me non-functional. I couldn't take it any more. I'm surprised I could make it to the store and back. But mornings are best for me. The experiment part of this is holding true. I have to keep experimenting until I find what's right for me.

VLCD 3 and still hungry

After VLCD 3
overnight: -1.4
total: -2.6
current weight: 152.4

Wow. I was not expecting such a big loss. It makes the hunger worth it.

Yesterday's hunger was worse than I've experienced yet. Maybe because I had to leave home and be around people all morning and was under slightly stressful conditions. When I got home, I still had to cook my lunch. During the process I felt weak and a bit faint.

That afternoon, I drank some Yerba Mate tea. It's the first time I've had tea on this protocol, because I don't like tea. But this stuff wasn't bad, and while I was sipping it, the hunger went away. It came back shortly afterward, but the respite was nice. From now on, I intend to have tea every morning.

It's too early in the day to say what my hunger levels will be today. For now I feel fine. I know I ate to capacity on my loading days, so the hunger should go away today, or in the next couple of days. If it doesn't go away within a week, I may have to increase my dose. I'm currently taking 125 IU sublingually twice a day. I could easily increase this to 150 if I have to.

Maybe my perceptions are wrong and I didn't eat to capacity on the load days. In that case, Dr. Simeons says the hunger should go away about a week from now. So I'll wait and see--even though another week at yesterday's level sounds torturous.

I will not cheat on this protocol. My resolve on that issue is absolutely iron. But I can now relate better to those who have cheated. I went to Wal-Mart and as I drove past restaurants, I kept thinking, ooh, Applebee's sounds heavenly. DQ--I could go for a chicken strip basket. Better yet, a double cheeseburger. And the candy bars in the check out lane looked so good. I don't even eat that kind of food very often. But my hunger was so intense everything sounded good.

So I'm really hoping the hunger won't last much longer.

VLCD 2 results

After VLCD 2
overnight change: -0.4
net change: -1.2
current weight: 153.8

Okay, four tenths of a pounds isn't terrific for this early in the game. But looking at the total loss, I'm happy. I've lost 2.6 pounds in 2 days. Yes, some of that is load weight, but even so, my results are good. A big loss is balanced out with a smaller loss. I didn't think things would balance so soon. However, looking at the overall, I'm happy.

My expectations are to lose an average of half a pound a day. Two days and I'm 1.2 pounds down from my starting weight. Not bad.

VLCD 1 results

After VLCD 1
overnight change: -2.2
net change: -0.8
current weight: 154.2

I'm happy with my first 500 calorie day results. I had hunger on and off all day yesterday. And this morning so far I've been a little hungry. But nothing I can't handle.

Loading Day 3 results

After Load Day 3
overnight change: -0.6
net change: +1.4
current weight: 156.4

Yesterday I ate enough to keep myself full all day, but I didn't eat as much as the day before. I felt nauseous in the afternoon and evening, so I didn't want to push it and end up eating until I threw up. At first I thought it might be a stomach bug, but I think it was either from eating so much for 3 days, or my body getting used to the HCG.

At any rate, I was pretty sure I wouldn't gain more weight. After all, I was eating healthy foods for the most part--just lots of them. But I didn't expect to lose. For 3 load days, I only gained 1.4 pounds. Not bad. And I'm so happy to be done loading and on to VLCD (very low calorie days).

Three days of gorging seemed just right for me. This morning I wasn't hungry when I woke up, unlike the last two ravenous mornings. I got up at 6:30 and my stomach didn't growl until around 8:00. I had hunger on and off through the morning. The rest of the time I felt empty but not necessarily hungry. I was hoping to feel no hunger at all, but alas, I'm not one of the lucky ones. The hunger I experienced wasn't bad, though.

So far, so good.

Loading Day 2 results

After Load Day 2
overnight change: +1.0
net change: +2.0
current weight: 157

I ate so much yesterday, by midday I felt like I weighed 50 pounds more than I really do. When I exercised, I couldn't do as much as normal. Being that full weighed me down and made me so tired.

Today will be my third loading day. The protocol only calls for two days, but I want to make sure the HCG is thoroughly in my system. And I've heard people do better, as far as hunger is concerned, on three load days.

Funny thing is, after eating so much, I've woken up ravenous the last two mornings. You'd think I couldn't stand the thought of food, but no, there's my stomach, growling away and making food an urgent need. Once I start eating, however, that's another story. I didn't want more than a few bites of my breakfast, but I'm pressing on (eating as I type this).

Loading Day 1 results

After Load Day 1
Overnight change: +1.0
Current weight: 156

I stole this format for recording my stats from Jules. Her results are always so easy to read. Thanks, Jules! And if you're looking for information on HCG, go to her site. She's got tons of links.

Surprise, surprise. Eat to keep yourself uncomfortably full all day, and you'll gain weight. And even at uncomfortable, I feel like I should have eaten a little more yesterday. I went for a couple of longer stretches without eating. I didn't want to eat, but I probably could have stuffed in a little something.

After supper, I made homemade ice cream sweetened with stevia. Heavy on the raw organic cream. So today I've got a good fat source I can keep returning to.

Why call it an experiment?

Don't mistake the blog title. I believe HCG works. It has worked for hundreds if not thousands of people. But I haven't personally tried it. And what with the mixing of the formula last night, it started to feel like a scientific experiment. Add to it the fact that I bore the nickname Beaker for part of my childhood, and everything seemed to fit.

I've tried a few different methods of losing weight, with varying success. I've never reached my goal weight. Never got rid of that last stubborn flab. I believe HCG will do that.

What is HCG? If you've never heard of it, you'll have to search elsewhere for details. Suffice it to say it's a weight loss protocol that's 100% safe and natural, but allows a person to lose weight rapidly.

I'm capable of losing weight without HCG. But it's taken me 10 months to lose 27 pounds. My body is so picky when it comes to food and weight gain, that I have to be on a strict regimen of eating right and exercise to lose about a pound a week. And I have a hard time being that strict for longer than a few months at a time. I've had quite a few setbacks on my weight loss journey this time. And I can't seem to get rolling again to lose the last 25 pounds I need to lose.

So I was thrilled to discover HCG. It calls for a strict protocol with limited food choices for a couple of months (those of you familiar with HCG know that I just way oversimplified the protocol), but then being able to eat "normally" for life. I put that word in quotes, because I'd never be able to maintain weight loss on the typical American diet.

I've been able to lose weight in the past 10 months simply by making good nutritional choices. Whole foods instead of processed. Limited starches and grains, and almost no sugar. When I reach my ideal weight, that's what I'll go back to. I'll have a good core diet, while being able to indulge in a treat once in a while.

Okay, that was a rambling post to introduce this blog. I intend to keep my posts short and to the point from now on. I took my first HCG dose this morning, so today is my first loading day. I'll let you know how it went.

Starting stats:

weight: 155
height: 5'7"
goal weight: 130

One word on comments. Don't bother trying to tell me HCG doesn't work. I've heard too many success stories. And if it truly won't work for me, won't I find that out on my own? Let the "experiment" procede.