Bear with me...

... while I find the right look for my blog. If you come around this afternoon, you're likely to see just about anything.

I liked the color of my old look, but I got sick of the ribbons pretty fast.

Freedom

That's what I'm looking for most in my eating, and that's why I like what I'm doing right now.

I can't live for the rest of my life with a list of rules and forbidden foods. That only takes me from one kind of food obsession (I need chocolate, I need ice cream, what's for dessert?) to another (I wonder what they're serving. Will I be able to eat it, or do I have to bring my own food?).

I need the freedom to relax and to put food in it's place. No forbidden foods for life. Yes, I know french fries are unhealthy, but sometime in my life I might want french fries again. Maybe when I get healthy enough the thought of french fries will turn my stomach. That would be nice. But whatever the food, if I want to have some on the rare occasion, some time in my life, it won't serve me to put in on some oh-so-tempting forbidden foods list.

I really enjoy cereal, and for so many years I've named it a forbidden food. And I went for long stretches of time with no cereal. Many, many months. But I've never cut it out completely, I only felt guilty whenever I ate it. No more food guilt!

While this plan says it's best to avoid grains as much as possible, the daily meal plans all include cereal and other grains. I don't follow the menus, I just skimmed them to get an idea. What's important is serving size. I can eat cereal once in a while, especially a high-fiber cereal to slow down the blood sugar reaction, as long as the serving size is small, and I eat it with protein. I don't need a full bowl. A cup, or even a 1/2 cup might do. Or 1/4 cup sprinkled on yogurt.

I don't need much, and I don't need it every day. Mainly, I'm listening to what my body is hungry for. And I'm still focusing more on the mental side of things than the food side. Someone who truly loves their own body won't want to put junk in it. It should become automatic to feed it healthy nutritious things. Then I'll be all set.

New eating plan

The reason I've been counting calories lately is that I found a new eating plan. Six days a week I eat with the caloric deficit needed to lose weight. Then one day a week I'm allowed to "forget all about your diet and eat whatever you want in whatever quantities you want." That's the phrase used, anyway, but it's qualified by some rules.

For health purposes, the plan says to avoid trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. That pretty much guarantees I'm not going to go overboard. No trans fats means no french fries, or anything deep fried at restaurants. And HFCS is in so many things.

This is called an overfeeding day. The typical person is supposed to go 1,000 calories above what they eat on the other days. However, a woman who only needs about 1,300 calories (me) should only go up to 2,000 calories or the difference is too drastic. And the majority of food that day is supposed to come from carbs.

The overfeeding day is for two reasons. 1. The body will know it's not starving, so it will continue to let go of fat (plus mentally I have a break to look forward to). 2. The overfeeding on carbs boosts the amount of leptin the body produces, which is an important hormone for weight loss.

Frankly, I'm a bit skeptical of the overfeeding day. Overfeeding on carbs goes against the grain. However, I suppose these can be good carbs. It's only my internal programing that brings donuts and cake to mind. But I'm willing to give it a shot because the rest of the plan is so sensible, and the calorie deficit is big enough to make up for one day a week of higher calories.

And it's allowing me freedom in my diet every day. I get the variety I'd been craving (nuts, seeds, fruit and some dairy) while staying on a healthy plan that's allowing my body to release weight.

Sunday was my first overfeeding day. We were celebrating my husband's birthday, so my I ate in a way I'm not planning to eat every Sunday. We went to Applebees and I had the quesadia burger. Yum! With fries--ooh, a forbidden food already. Plus we had coupons for 2 free dessert shooters. We got those coupons when we went there on Valentine's Day.

I took half my food home for later, and didn't eat all the fries. So I stayed within my calories for the day. But I gained two pounds because of the type of food I ate. Even though this was an atypical day, I'm changing my weigh-in days from Tuesday to Friday. Tuesday would only give me one day to eat clean before I have my official weigh-in.

Just so you're up to date, last Tuesday I was at 179.8. Sunday morning I weighed 178.4. That low may have been somewhat a water-fluctuation fluke. Monday morning I was up to 180.6, and now this morning 179 even.

I don't expect fast losses on this plan. Especially in the beginning when I'm tweaking it. But mentally I need a day off once in a while. If I feel like a bit of chocolate, this plan allows for that. I'll have to learn as I go what I can't get away with Sundays. I have a feeling this Sunday will be another not-so-good day. My parents are having us over to celebrate my husband's birthday, and my sister-in-law's birthday which is at the end of the month.

But I'm trying to establish something I can live with for the rest of my life. And birthdays happen.

Calories--I eat more when I count them!

I was going to post on this subject today anyway, then reading Tri-Mom's post yesterday gives me even more reason to.

Okay, so weight loss programs tell me I need to count calories. So I figure out how many calories I need in order to lose weight, based on how active I am. The formula tells me I need around 1650. Then I try to plan my meals so that they contain the right amount. Last week on the days I hit the mark I was aiming for, I was pretty full all day. I ate because it was time to eat, not because I was hungry.

For two days I got busy and didn't log my calories into Fitday until after the fact. I simply ate when I felt hungry and stopped when I felt satisfied. My calories on those days were between 1275 and 1350. That doesn't sound like enough, but I was perfectly satisfied all day, and I exercised hard on those days, too.

Everyone is different. It doesn't make much sense to me to use a formula that tells me how many calories I burn at rest based on nothing but my age and weight. Other factors determine how fast we burn calories. Muscle, how much lean meat we eat.

I don't know. I just don't know enough about it. RMR is supposed to be a good formula.

I bought the line that if we don't count calories we probably consume far more than we realize. If we eat out all the time, maybe. But healthy foods at home? The opposite is true for me.

I'll save the reason I've been counting calories for another post. But counting calories was part of what got me into trouble during my first P3 on HCG. I figured out how many calories I needed to maintain my weight, but I always fell short, and I kept gaining weight. Just about every other day was a steak day.

I thought the reason might be because I wasn't eating enough calories. Evening would come and I'd look at my calorie consumption for the day and I'd say, I better eat. What's high in calories that I can have? Most of the time I'd whip some cream and dollop it onto a little fruit.

During my second P3 I didn't count calories. I ate when I was hungry and I avoided some foods I suspected were causing weight gain during a time when my body was searching for new balance--dairy and fruit. I didn't have to do a single steak day that P3. And I did punch in a couple of days' foods just out of curiosity. I was eating far less calories, and I was maintaining beautifully.

Interval training

I was watching some fitness videos on You Tube, trying to find a demonstration of an exercise, when I came across one talking about interval training. I'd forgotten what regular interval training is, and this was a reminder of how different what I'm doing is.

(I'm not trying to sell anyone on doing PACE, I just want you to understand why I'm so enthusiastic about it.)

Say you're on a treadmill. Interval training, or High Intensity Interval Training, consists of running for 20 seconds, then jogging for 40 seconds, taking it back up to a run for 20, and so on. The times vary, but the principal is the same. Run/jog. There are faster and slower exertions, but it's all exertion.

What I'm doing lets me rest completely between exertion periods. I rest until I feel I've caught my breath. I get off my elliptical machine and walk around--even stand still from time to time because I'm not in that good of shape--telling my mind and body to relax until I feel rested. Then I hop back on and and go. But on my second set I'll either turn up the resistance, go at a faster rpm, or both. The second set is harder, but less time. However many sets I do, the last one is where I'm giving it everything I've got. I run as fast as I can for as long as I can (usually not very long).

I just finished my workout. When I do this again Wednesday, I'll try for a slightly faster rpm for each set than I did today. These workouts are supposed to progress each and every time, even if it's only a tiny bit. Of course on days when I don't feel so hot, I ease back and do what feels right that day.

By resting between exertions, I'm teaching my body to recover, and this carries over into recovering from day to day stress, and some people even say recovering from illness. See why I'm so jazzed about it? The basic principle of exertion and rest can be used for any exercise. This summer I'd love to do 50 yard sprints in my backyard.

Okay, tomorrow I'll be onto a different subject. And I'm still feeling that peace. What a difference it makes to focus on a positive attitude and on saying positive things to myself.

Checking in

Having the right focus has given me renewed energy. I'm much more relaxed. I'm taking care of me, and letting the weight loss happen, if it will, instead of trying to make it happen. Emotions are volatile things, and I'm sure I'll have my bad days again. But right now I feel at peace. It's wonderful, and I'm going to make the most of it.

Book was somewhat disappointing

Yesterday when I was waiting to get to the part where the book would teach me to identify my self-sabotaging beliefs, I had already read as much as the author was going to say. After saying over and over that we've been programed from childhood to believe certain things about ourselves, and that this programming isn't our fault, and that most of these beliefs are unconscious beliefs that we're not even aware of, the sum of identifying those self-sabotaging beliefs was this:

Write down the beliefs you have about yourself that you'd like to change.

Huh? That's it? No deep insights into how to identify the hidden ones? I was looking for the meat of this book, and all I got was a soy burger.

I'm still grateful this fell into my lap. It got me thinking about the area I need to focus on the most, my mind/spirit. And there were some useful tips in the book. He says to make a success journal to record what I eat, my exercise, and weight loss along the way. I already do that, but in addition, he says to make a negativity journal. All the negative things I tell myself every day. Once the negative dialogue of a whole day is there in black and white, it will be a stark wake-up call. And he says it will be easier as time goes on to stop those negative thoughts in their tracks once I'm conscious of them.

But basically, it was one long commercial for Global Health and Fitness. And I was wrong about them having free resources. They have free bonuses for signing up as a member. In addition, he's a weight loss coach, and out of 12 chapters, he devoted one whole chapter to the reasons we all need a weight loss coach for better success. He had a page of helpful resource links, and every one of them was a link to Global Health and Fitness, which you have to be a member to access.

I think a lot of what he says in the book is available in the free articles on his website. But I can't complain. The book was free. It only cost me some time that I think was well-invested anyway. He says we don't have to identify and stop every self-sabotaging belief we have, we simply have to turn the balance of our internal dialogue to the positive.

I should have read the whole book first, instead of opening my mouth to you about it right away. I should have simply told you that I had a real wake-up call to once again look at weight loss holistically, not just the nutrition and exercise parts of it.


Now on to me.

I've been weighing myself daily again for the past three days, and I'm thrilled that my weight has gone down a bit each day. I was afraid my losses would come to a screeching halt once I introduced other foods.

But I'm keeping track of my calories on Fitday. I hate counting calories, but it's important to do that at least for a while so I can get familiar with how much I actually eat, and how much I should be eating. I love the fact that it also keeps track of the balance of macro nutrients--protein, fat, and carbs.

I punched in a two typical days from my meat and veggies only phase. I was scary low on carbs. The day I ate some canned peas I had 20 grams of carbs, or 4% of my diet. Low, but not scary. A more typical day would be a stalk of celery or 1/2 a cucumber with a meal. That's 4 grams of carbs or 1% of my diet. I didn't do that on purpose, I'm just not a big fan of veggies, and I didn't realize how low I was. Had I been recording on Fitday then, I'd have corrected it in a hurry.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that my change in diet so far hasn't hurt my losses. Yeah!

Two days on a new exercise routine, and I FEEL it!

I had done my PACE routine for 4 weeks, so it was time to switch it up to keep challenging my body. Plus, I found a more challenging resistance training routine, and I incorporated my 100 push-up challenge into it.

Oh, by the way, for the initial test on Saturday, I could only do 4 push-ups. We were at the same level, Tri Mom. So yesterday I did day 1 at level 1. I thought my pecs would be more sore than they are. What's really sore are my thighs and butt, and my abs. But I'm not so sore that it's uncomfortable to move. I can just feel that I worked hard yesterday.

It feels good! Stiff muscles and all. I love resistance training. I've loved it from the moment I first tried it in high school. Unfortunately, I've never been consistent, or I'd have a killer bod by now.

I also read another 4 chapters of my freebie book. He's starting to get into the meat of things. I'm writing down goals, motivations, and affirmations. All those things are adding positives to my thinking. I have 4 chapters left to read today, and I hope he gets specific about how to get rid of the self-sabotaging beliefs. I'll let you know.

He very briefly covered some tips about nutrition and exercise. He didn't go into detail, which is fine by me. I've got those bases covered. I disagree with two things he said, though. He listed soy as a healthy lean protein source. Now, this book was written in 2005. I can only hope he's read the latest research on soy and has changed his mind. If you didn't know it, soy is far from healthy.

The second thing I disagreed with was in the area of exercise. He said with weight training, we should focus on isolating muscles. Wrong. The best approach for real, usable strength is compound movements, multi-joint movements. Push-ups, pull-ups (I'd love to be able to do pull-ups someday), squats, deadlifts are the types of things we should be doing, as opposed to bicep curls and leg extensions. If our goal is to burn calories and get lean, we want to work as many muscles as we can in one movement. And whole body movements force us to work our core to stabilize.

The author is kind of pushing the Global Health and Fitness website, which he's a member of. I haven't looked into it much, but I think you have to join and pay a monthly fee. However, I also think they have some free resources.

I'll check back in tomorrow.

Ready to get going again

Motivation completely back. In fact, I'd call it a burning desire to lose weight.

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible, but I've got a lot to say.

I haven't posted in a couple of days again because I've been busy setting up a new plan. Both eating and exercising are taking a new direction. With eating, I've been enjoying a bit more variety with fruit, seeds, and nuts. And even some dairy. I know I said I was committed to staying away from dairy for a couple more months. But I was craving it, and I can't stay away from any food group for 3 months. It's too long.

One little side note here. From the comments I've been getting, I think some of you missed the post where I said that I gained back every bit of weight I lost--both the HCG weight, and the weight I'd lost on my own before HCG--plus six pounds. That's why I took down all the stats that were in my side bar. Too confusing, and that's not where I am anymore.

I started this new journey Jan 5th at 188 pounds. As of two weeks ago, I was 177.6. On my weekend off, I packed on 5 pounds. Ouch! I'm still up a couple of pounds, at 179.8 this morning. However, my fat calipers say that I lost a little more fat and gained 2.5 pounds of lean from that 177.6 number. I'm happy with that. The fat percentage is the number that counts.

Anyway, now that I've made sure you realize I gained all that weight back, and I quit exercise for many months over the summer and fall, this next part will have more meaning.

Don't you love when things fall into your lap? When just the right information comes to you at just the right time?

I ordered some Miracle Noodles last week, and was pleasantly surprised that a pdf book came free with any order. (Still does, as of today.) The book is called "Ultimate Fitness Secrets Revealed." I downloaded it because it was free, but I was thinking that I probably already know all this.

However, the main focus is on the mind/spirit side of weight loss. That's an area I've sadly neglected. The author takes a mind-first approach. He says if we don't get rid of our self-sabotaging beliefs, we'll never see permanent results. In fact, out of 12 chapters, one is on nutrition, and one is on exercise.

I haven't gotten into the meat of the book yet. I've read the first 4 chapters, and so far he's emphasizing how important it is to get our thinking straight. He hasn't gotten to the hows yet. But I'm excited to get there.

I know I have self-sabotaging beliefs. Twice in my life I've gotten down pretty close to my ideal weight, only to stall, then give up. Countless times I've begun a lifestyle change and quit a month or two into it. I keep telling myself I know what to do, I just need to do it. What must I believe about myself to let myself eat the way I did this summer and fall?

I was sexually abused as a child. Research on the subject has given me the understanding that this has left me feeling undeserving of anything good. The unconscious message is, my family didn't protect me from this, and therefore I must not be worth protecting.

I came to understand this about myself about 10 years ago. But I haven't been able to reprogram my thinking. With this book, I hope to discover the keys to do that. And the book was free with something I was already ordering. Some of you will say the universe handed me a gift. With my beliefs, I credit God. But yes, if the author of this book delivers what he promises, this was a gift.