A new beginning

Oh, the shame in having been so thin, and gaining the weight back so quickly. I got lots of compliments on my weight loss, so I know everyone who knows me noticed. Once all the weight came back, I didn't want to go anywhere or be seen by anyone. Fatigue kept me home for the most part, but I did make it to church almost every Sunday. I did my best to be invisible. I wanted to explain to everyone that my system was messed up because of my thyroid and mold issues. That's why the gains were so rapid. Sure, I overdid it a time or two, but I wasn't binging. Still, 20 of those pounds came on in a single month.

The shame added to my depression. As did the feeling that I'd never be able to do anything about this weight. If you've never experienced debilitating fatigue, I can't describe it. Except to say it felt like having the flu all the time, without the throwing up. Even some family members didn't believe things were as bad as I said. "Oh, everyone is tired. Everyone feels the way you do." Well then. I guess I must just be lazy. That's why it took me three days to clean my bathroom.

I felt worse and worse, and of course the candida went wild in my system. Plus, I was always ravenous because of my thyroid. Finally I decided to do something about this, no matter how hard it was.

I was scared to start exercise, because I normally paid for any extra activity with several days to a week of being virtually an invalid. But on the other hand, I knew that good, heart-pounding exercise gives energy. So I went ahead, starting slowly.

As far as food goes, I cut back to the things I could eat before: meat, eggs, vegetables, and some fruit and dairy. (Ah, the good old days.)

When I eat just anything, my body sort of hunkers down and takes it. I feel miserable in general, but I don't notice specific foods giving me trouble. When I start eating clean, the problem foods create definite symptoms. I can't have any dairy or eggs--intestinal distress, we'll call it. And fruit makes me beyond jittery. So for now, I'm on meat and veggies.

Thyroid was the most recent piece of the puzzle, though I suspected it before. I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't want to be on drugs for the rest of my life, like my mom. I didn't even want to go to the doctor to pay for a blood panel because I don't have insurance, and I know some thyroid tests are unreliable anyway. But I found a wonderful article that linked to a thyroid quiz (I scored 68% positive for low thyroid), and listed natural ways to support the thyroid. Avoid wheat, detoxify with an infrared sauna, and start adding iodine to my diet. I switched to sea salt years ago. No iodine added.

When I started eating good and exercising a few weeks ago, my energy started coming back. But just a week ago I bought some kelp and sprinkled that over my food at every meal. BINGO!! My body heaved a big old sigh of relief. It couldn't have told me any clearer "this is what I've been craving!" Just a few posts down I said how every meal left me wanting something I wasn't getting. Iodine! Friend to thyroids everywhere.

I'm down to very little variety in my diet, but I'm not craving a thing. I can do this, hopefully, for the 2-3 months it will take to clear the food allergies from my system. I'm also getting help with detoxing from a supplement I'm taking, but more on that tomorrow.

No more shame. I'm holding my head up high and smiling--real smiles, not fake. I feel so optimistic again. My body is getting what it needs. I feel GOOD. Now, the fatigue didn't go away overnight, of course. I'm still feeling fatigued, but it's a fatigue I can function within.

Just a side note, prescription medication has it's place. If I don't resolve my thyroid issues by what I'm doing, I will go to the doctor, and I will get a prescription if I have to. Probably the natural option, Armour.