I've been abnormally hungry for years. Eat a meal, hungry half an hour later. Or worse, the hunger doesn't go away at all after a meal. I've been living with constant hunger for so long. The HCG diet only intensified what was already there.
No longer.
For one thing, I'm getting enough protein, especially in the morning. I also eat my bigger meal for lunch and have a lighter supper. That helps with the hunger because I'm more active earlier in the day. Plus, I'm finally supporting my thyroid. I ate breakfast over two hours ago, and I'm still not hungry. I get hungry just before it's time to eat another meal. Or sometimes hungry for an afternoon snack. I've only had one or two times of feeling that abnormal hunger in the last week, almost two weeks, since sprinkling the kelp over my food.
And thank you, helderheid, for telling me about the iodine supplement. I'll look into that. I guess I'm not just blogging to myself after all.
And cravings? Still haven't had a one. I'm not healed yet, but I'm heading that way.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Feeling better every day
I can't get over feeling good again. It's been such a long time.
I'm on the road to weight loss once more, but I'm not doing HCG. I probably won't again. There is still a chance, if I get my thyroid functioning normally, I would do a round to take off some of the weight quickly. But even the possibility is a long way down the road. My body has too many issues.
This blog is called HCG experiment. Bottom line, HCG works, and works well. It just wasn't right for me at that time. So now I'm on my own. Should I change the name of my blog? Leave a note here directing anyone who might happen along to a new blog? Or just keep going?
For now, I'll use this blog as a journal. I doubt if anyone is reading, but it helps to get things down in writing. To have accountability, even if it's imagined.
I'm not going to weigh in every day. Just once a week. It helped immensely in the past to weigh every day. But I'm not in that place right now. Right now, yes, I want to lose weight, but it's about health first. I know I'm doing everything possible to lose weight. My diet couldn't be better, and my exercise is no longer slow and easy. With the type of exercise I'm doing, I improved very quickly. So weighing once a week is enough. I don't want to get distracted and discouraged by the daily ups and downs.
The mold is still my biggest problem. And where is my elliptical machine? Up in the attic with the worst of the mold. I'm taking a supplement that kills mold, and everything else in the body that doesn't belong. It's called MMS. A nurse I know who leans heavily toward natural remedies recommended it to me. My first attempt at cleansing this way was in November.
The stuff itself is harmless and has no side effects. Killing and releasing those toxins are another story. If the liver can't process all the toxins that are dumped into it, it asks the stomach for help. Which means throwing up or diarrhea. These can be avoided by starting with a low dose and slowly building up. Slight nausea is a warning that the dose is a little high, and you should cut back for the next dose. But sometimes it just sneaks up.
I quit after I had a particularly bad bout of running to the bathroom. I shouldn't have quit, but I have so much junk in me that the die-off makes me very ill. I should have cut back and stuck in there, but I was tired of being sick on top of already feeling so lousy. Plus I couldn't get my eating under control, so I was also adding toxins back in.
Now I'm trying it again. More slowly. It's only been a few days. I take the stuff 5 times a day. That way I can take small frequent doses that keep the bugs in me from regrouping. I'll keep building up my dose until I reach a certain level. I'll stay at that level for a week, then I'm done, other than one dose twice a week to keep the bugs at bay.
So now I'm all caught up with the present. I'm so optimistic and happy. I don't care that I'm fat again, as long as I can do something about it.
I'm on the road to weight loss once more, but I'm not doing HCG. I probably won't again. There is still a chance, if I get my thyroid functioning normally, I would do a round to take off some of the weight quickly. But even the possibility is a long way down the road. My body has too many issues.
This blog is called HCG experiment. Bottom line, HCG works, and works well. It just wasn't right for me at that time. So now I'm on my own. Should I change the name of my blog? Leave a note here directing anyone who might happen along to a new blog? Or just keep going?
For now, I'll use this blog as a journal. I doubt if anyone is reading, but it helps to get things down in writing. To have accountability, even if it's imagined.
I'm not going to weigh in every day. Just once a week. It helped immensely in the past to weigh every day. But I'm not in that place right now. Right now, yes, I want to lose weight, but it's about health first. I know I'm doing everything possible to lose weight. My diet couldn't be better, and my exercise is no longer slow and easy. With the type of exercise I'm doing, I improved very quickly. So weighing once a week is enough. I don't want to get distracted and discouraged by the daily ups and downs.
The mold is still my biggest problem. And where is my elliptical machine? Up in the attic with the worst of the mold. I'm taking a supplement that kills mold, and everything else in the body that doesn't belong. It's called MMS. A nurse I know who leans heavily toward natural remedies recommended it to me. My first attempt at cleansing this way was in November.
The stuff itself is harmless and has no side effects. Killing and releasing those toxins are another story. If the liver can't process all the toxins that are dumped into it, it asks the stomach for help. Which means throwing up or diarrhea. These can be avoided by starting with a low dose and slowly building up. Slight nausea is a warning that the dose is a little high, and you should cut back for the next dose. But sometimes it just sneaks up.
I quit after I had a particularly bad bout of running to the bathroom. I shouldn't have quit, but I have so much junk in me that the die-off makes me very ill. I should have cut back and stuck in there, but I was tired of being sick on top of already feeling so lousy. Plus I couldn't get my eating under control, so I was also adding toxins back in.
Now I'm trying it again. More slowly. It's only been a few days. I take the stuff 5 times a day. That way I can take small frequent doses that keep the bugs in me from regrouping. I'll keep building up my dose until I reach a certain level. I'll stay at that level for a week, then I'm done, other than one dose twice a week to keep the bugs at bay.
So now I'm all caught up with the present. I'm so optimistic and happy. I don't care that I'm fat again, as long as I can do something about it.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A new beginning
Oh, the shame in having been so thin, and gaining the weight back so quickly. I got lots of compliments on my weight loss, so I know everyone who knows me noticed. Once all the weight came back, I didn't want to go anywhere or be seen by anyone. Fatigue kept me home for the most part, but I did make it to church almost every Sunday. I did my best to be invisible. I wanted to explain to everyone that my system was messed up because of my thyroid and mold issues. That's why the gains were so rapid. Sure, I overdid it a time or two, but I wasn't binging. Still, 20 of those pounds came on in a single month.
The shame added to my depression. As did the feeling that I'd never be able to do anything about this weight. If you've never experienced debilitating fatigue, I can't describe it. Except to say it felt like having the flu all the time, without the throwing up. Even some family members didn't believe things were as bad as I said. "Oh, everyone is tired. Everyone feels the way you do." Well then. I guess I must just be lazy. That's why it took me three days to clean my bathroom.
I felt worse and worse, and of course the candida went wild in my system. Plus, I was always ravenous because of my thyroid. Finally I decided to do something about this, no matter how hard it was.
I was scared to start exercise, because I normally paid for any extra activity with several days to a week of being virtually an invalid. But on the other hand, I knew that good, heart-pounding exercise gives energy. So I went ahead, starting slowly.
As far as food goes, I cut back to the things I could eat before: meat, eggs, vegetables, and some fruit and dairy. (Ah, the good old days.)
When I eat just anything, my body sort of hunkers down and takes it. I feel miserable in general, but I don't notice specific foods giving me trouble. When I start eating clean, the problem foods create definite symptoms. I can't have any dairy or eggs--intestinal distress, we'll call it. And fruit makes me beyond jittery. So for now, I'm on meat and veggies.
Thyroid was the most recent piece of the puzzle, though I suspected it before. I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't want to be on drugs for the rest of my life, like my mom. I didn't even want to go to the doctor to pay for a blood panel because I don't have insurance, and I know some thyroid tests are unreliable anyway. But I found a wonderful article that linked to a thyroid quiz (I scored 68% positive for low thyroid), and listed natural ways to support the thyroid. Avoid wheat, detoxify with an infrared sauna, and start adding iodine to my diet. I switched to sea salt years ago. No iodine added.
When I started eating good and exercising a few weeks ago, my energy started coming back. But just a week ago I bought some kelp and sprinkled that over my food at every meal. BINGO!! My body heaved a big old sigh of relief. It couldn't have told me any clearer "this is what I've been craving!" Just a few posts down I said how every meal left me wanting something I wasn't getting. Iodine! Friend to thyroids everywhere.
I'm down to very little variety in my diet, but I'm not craving a thing. I can do this, hopefully, for the 2-3 months it will take to clear the food allergies from my system. I'm also getting help with detoxing from a supplement I'm taking, but more on that tomorrow.
No more shame. I'm holding my head up high and smiling--real smiles, not fake. I feel so optimistic again. My body is getting what it needs. I feel GOOD. Now, the fatigue didn't go away overnight, of course. I'm still feeling fatigued, but it's a fatigue I can function within.
Just a side note, prescription medication has it's place. If I don't resolve my thyroid issues by what I'm doing, I will go to the doctor, and I will get a prescription if I have to. Probably the natural option, Armour.
The shame added to my depression. As did the feeling that I'd never be able to do anything about this weight. If you've never experienced debilitating fatigue, I can't describe it. Except to say it felt like having the flu all the time, without the throwing up. Even some family members didn't believe things were as bad as I said. "Oh, everyone is tired. Everyone feels the way you do." Well then. I guess I must just be lazy. That's why it took me three days to clean my bathroom.
I felt worse and worse, and of course the candida went wild in my system. Plus, I was always ravenous because of my thyroid. Finally I decided to do something about this, no matter how hard it was.
I was scared to start exercise, because I normally paid for any extra activity with several days to a week of being virtually an invalid. But on the other hand, I knew that good, heart-pounding exercise gives energy. So I went ahead, starting slowly.
As far as food goes, I cut back to the things I could eat before: meat, eggs, vegetables, and some fruit and dairy. (Ah, the good old days.)
When I eat just anything, my body sort of hunkers down and takes it. I feel miserable in general, but I don't notice specific foods giving me trouble. When I start eating clean, the problem foods create definite symptoms. I can't have any dairy or eggs--intestinal distress, we'll call it. And fruit makes me beyond jittery. So for now, I'm on meat and veggies.
Thyroid was the most recent piece of the puzzle, though I suspected it before. I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't want to be on drugs for the rest of my life, like my mom. I didn't even want to go to the doctor to pay for a blood panel because I don't have insurance, and I know some thyroid tests are unreliable anyway. But I found a wonderful article that linked to a thyroid quiz (I scored 68% positive for low thyroid), and listed natural ways to support the thyroid. Avoid wheat, detoxify with an infrared sauna, and start adding iodine to my diet. I switched to sea salt years ago. No iodine added.
When I started eating good and exercising a few weeks ago, my energy started coming back. But just a week ago I bought some kelp and sprinkled that over my food at every meal. BINGO!! My body heaved a big old sigh of relief. It couldn't have told me any clearer "this is what I've been craving!" Just a few posts down I said how every meal left me wanting something I wasn't getting. Iodine! Friend to thyroids everywhere.
I'm down to very little variety in my diet, but I'm not craving a thing. I can do this, hopefully, for the 2-3 months it will take to clear the food allergies from my system. I'm also getting help with detoxing from a supplement I'm taking, but more on that tomorrow.
No more shame. I'm holding my head up high and smiling--real smiles, not fake. I feel so optimistic again. My body is getting what it needs. I feel GOOD. Now, the fatigue didn't go away overnight, of course. I'm still feeling fatigued, but it's a fatigue I can function within.
Just a side note, prescription medication has it's place. If I don't resolve my thyroid issues by what I'm doing, I will go to the doctor, and I will get a prescription if I have to. Probably the natural option, Armour.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
How I spent my summer vacation...
...and my fall, and most of this winter.
Before I get to the bad, I want to tell you that I'm feeling much better now. I'm mentally geared up to take off all the weight I've gained. I'm in a positive frame of mind right now, so remember that while you read about my downfall. That word is too melodramatic, but I don't know how else to say it.
This spring I found out I have a mold allergy, and my house is full of mold. It was making me very sick, fatigued and allergic to everything else. You see, the mold allergy is affecting my thyroid big time. Plus I have a family history of low thyroid function. Low thyroid in turn causes other allergies. That's why I had a reaction to every new food I introduced.
Mold is a serious problem, and we had to act. We started with the bathroom in the middle of June, after our vacation out East. Can't live in a house without a bathroom (we only have the one), so we moved in with my parents. My husband worked on the remodel after work and on Saturdays, then came to my parent's house just in time to go to sleep every night. He took Sundays off, so we did have one day a week to spend together.
Meanwhile, I had a new list of foods to avoid so as not to make the mold living inside my body grow and multiply. Very strict. Lasted 8 days. My mom is an excellent baker. It was my dad's birthday cake that did me in. My whole family--each and every one of them, bless their hearts--kept saying they couldn't believe I was passing up the delicious chocolate cake my mom served after lunch. I held out against that until after supper. I said it's just one piece of cake, it won't hurt too much.
But it was the beginning of the end. My cravings roared to life and only got worse. I kept eating the sweets my mom baked. I told myself I'd be home in a week or two, and I could undo the damage. But one thing after another prolonged this remodel, and I was living at my parents' for 10 weeks.
I was in denial. Sort of detached from reality. I was counting on hot weather to be able to swim every day for exercise. The average temperature was around 56 the whole summer. Yes, there were a few hot days where I could swim, but for the most part, I didn't exercise at all. I could have gone for walks, or chosen another form of exercise. Denial, remember? I missed my husband and I was depressed. I knew I was gaining weight and felt helpless to stop it. I turn to food when I'm depressed.
I had already gained some of my HCG weight back, as I posted this spring. My vacation to the East coast put a few more pounds on me. I weighed 150 mid-June. By the end of this 10 weeks away from home, I weighed 174. That's a BMI of 27.2. Unhealthy. As if that's not bad enough, the story isn't done.
I moved back home, to my moldy house--the bathroom is only the start of it--in the habit of eating anything I wanted. I had okay energy at my parents, but I wasn't using it. The combination of being back in the moldy environment and eating the wrong foods sapped my energy. It only took two weeks for me to become completely non-functional. Seriously, most days showering was too much for me. I kept up with my laundry for the most part, but that was the only housework I could do.
During those first two weeks back home, fortunately, my house got a scrubbing from top to bottom. Construction dust, and my husband living like a bachelor for 10 weeks wasn't kind to my house. That was the beginning of September. It was the second week of December before I cleaned my house again.
It takes energy to eat right. If I'm going to have something better than toast or a sandwich for lunch, I have to cook. I couldn't. Once in a while I could cook supper--throwing something in a crock pot in the morning when my energy is highest saved me. The rest of the time my husband cooked or we had a frozen or fast food option.
Then came Christmas. Nuff said. Christmas extended through January 6th, when family from out of state left. I was up to 188. The highest I've been in my life was 182. I got serious. I can't do much about the mold--my husband will do more remodeling and cleanup this spring and summer--but I can do something about the way I eat.
I mustered the will power. I made much use of the crock pot. In three weeks I've lost 6 pounds. My energy is coming back. I'm down to my former highest weight of 182. I'm feeling surprisingly good about that. I'll have a few more details tomorrow. This post is too long already.
I'm getting back to me again, and it feels wonderful.
Before I get to the bad, I want to tell you that I'm feeling much better now. I'm mentally geared up to take off all the weight I've gained. I'm in a positive frame of mind right now, so remember that while you read about my downfall. That word is too melodramatic, but I don't know how else to say it.
This spring I found out I have a mold allergy, and my house is full of mold. It was making me very sick, fatigued and allergic to everything else. You see, the mold allergy is affecting my thyroid big time. Plus I have a family history of low thyroid function. Low thyroid in turn causes other allergies. That's why I had a reaction to every new food I introduced.
Mold is a serious problem, and we had to act. We started with the bathroom in the middle of June, after our vacation out East. Can't live in a house without a bathroom (we only have the one), so we moved in with my parents. My husband worked on the remodel after work and on Saturdays, then came to my parent's house just in time to go to sleep every night. He took Sundays off, so we did have one day a week to spend together.
Meanwhile, I had a new list of foods to avoid so as not to make the mold living inside my body grow and multiply. Very strict. Lasted 8 days. My mom is an excellent baker. It was my dad's birthday cake that did me in. My whole family--each and every one of them, bless their hearts--kept saying they couldn't believe I was passing up the delicious chocolate cake my mom served after lunch. I held out against that until after supper. I said it's just one piece of cake, it won't hurt too much.
But it was the beginning of the end. My cravings roared to life and only got worse. I kept eating the sweets my mom baked. I told myself I'd be home in a week or two, and I could undo the damage. But one thing after another prolonged this remodel, and I was living at my parents' for 10 weeks.
I was in denial. Sort of detached from reality. I was counting on hot weather to be able to swim every day for exercise. The average temperature was around 56 the whole summer. Yes, there were a few hot days where I could swim, but for the most part, I didn't exercise at all. I could have gone for walks, or chosen another form of exercise. Denial, remember? I missed my husband and I was depressed. I knew I was gaining weight and felt helpless to stop it. I turn to food when I'm depressed.
I had already gained some of my HCG weight back, as I posted this spring. My vacation to the East coast put a few more pounds on me. I weighed 150 mid-June. By the end of this 10 weeks away from home, I weighed 174. That's a BMI of 27.2. Unhealthy. As if that's not bad enough, the story isn't done.
I moved back home, to my moldy house--the bathroom is only the start of it--in the habit of eating anything I wanted. I had okay energy at my parents, but I wasn't using it. The combination of being back in the moldy environment and eating the wrong foods sapped my energy. It only took two weeks for me to become completely non-functional. Seriously, most days showering was too much for me. I kept up with my laundry for the most part, but that was the only housework I could do.
During those first two weeks back home, fortunately, my house got a scrubbing from top to bottom. Construction dust, and my husband living like a bachelor for 10 weeks wasn't kind to my house. That was the beginning of September. It was the second week of December before I cleaned my house again.
It takes energy to eat right. If I'm going to have something better than toast or a sandwich for lunch, I have to cook. I couldn't. Once in a while I could cook supper--throwing something in a crock pot in the morning when my energy is highest saved me. The rest of the time my husband cooked or we had a frozen or fast food option.
Then came Christmas. Nuff said. Christmas extended through January 6th, when family from out of state left. I was up to 188. The highest I've been in my life was 182. I got serious. I can't do much about the mold--my husband will do more remodeling and cleanup this spring and summer--but I can do something about the way I eat.
I mustered the will power. I made much use of the crock pot. In three weeks I've lost 6 pounds. My energy is coming back. I'm down to my former highest weight of 182. I'm feeling surprisingly good about that. I'll have a few more details tomorrow. This post is too long already.
I'm getting back to me again, and it feels wonderful.
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